Heredity ?

If I think really hard to my childhood, I see signs that my mother had anxiety. I was brought up in a home that parents whispered to one another bad news about others so that my ears would not hear. If a neighbour was getting a divorce, it was whispered. If someone found out they had cancer, it was whispered. The whole conversation was not always whispered though, just those "bad" words. Cancer. Divorce. Bankrupt. Affair. I would try with all my super powers to hear what the adults were saying in such a hushed voice. Fearing those words like one fears a bullet or knife. I recall once when my mother was sad a lot and did not want to go to the park with me. I remember the doctor coming to the house and when he was leaving talking to my dad. I remember the hushed words that he leaned in towards my father just a bit more to say to him. I remember him slowly saying, "it's a woman's problem".   I was horrified. I was a girl who everyone kept telling,  would grow up to be a fine woman. I did not want to be sick. I did not want not be able to go to the park. I did not want to grow up if that was my future. My mom slept a lot over a few weeks then was back to being my sweet loving mommy. Depression and anxiety were not uncommon then, they were just not understood. They were mental illnesses or women's issues. I can't imagine not being able to get the proper medical help that is available today. I now think about all the times my Mama stayed home instead of going with my Dad to an event. I remember her always being home. This sudden realisation scared me as I have lived that life too. Is anxiety hereditary or a learned behaviour or just a crap shoot? 

Research suggests there may be a genetic component. Scientists have found that a particular genetic variation related to introverted personalities also involves the processing of fear and anxiety. Does this mean that nervous people who fight the beast with have anxious kids? Perhaps! Environment plays a definite roll in the manifestation of anxiety even more than genes. Such as, children who experience many changes in their lives or who do not have a secure attachment to a parental figure may develop anxious responses, even without a genetic susceptibility.

The beast of anxiety could also be a learned behaviour, as your parents ability to handle stress can influence their child and how they react to certain situations in the same way. 

It is important, as a parent, to recognize anxious behaviour in your children. Warning signs may include sleeping or eating issues, server shyness, excessive worrying or repetitive behaviours. If your child and or children exhibit one or many of these signs please try to help them overcome the fears which lead to their anxious behaviour. Always acknowledge your child's fears and encourage them to discuss the issue. Please do not tell a child not to worry, as the fear is not going to go away on its own just because you said to do so. They need to know that you are not mad at them for feeling this way. If you get angry with them they will now fear showing any feelings in your presence. Try to come up with a relaxation strategy in times of extreme stress for your child. Breathing exercises, even meditation can help calm in the high level of anxiousness. Playing music that they can either relax to or dance to will also ease their levels. Physical activities such as going for a walk with the dog or even kicking around a soccer ball are stress busters. If the anxiety persists with your child, talk to their doctor. Seeking help early is key to them not having to deal with the beast forever. 
I know my own children suffer from anxiety and yes, I often wonder if I am the reason for this. I have to push the thoughts hard out of my mind so that I do not get overwhelmed. I now know that I did and still do, everything in my power to help them deal with the beast. I have always kept an open dialogue with my kids so they know they can trust me. During teenage years life is a constant roller coaster of emotions and when you add anxiety to the ride, the bumps hit harder.  I struggle with trying to control how they think sometimes, like most parents as we only want them to live better lives then we did. I do not want my children to have the same demons as I do as it would break me. I can only hope that they never feel alone like I did with their conflicts and fears. It is a parents instinct to want to keep their children safe and out of danger. We do not want our kids to suffer in any shape or form. We want to be able to shelter are babies, regardless of their age, from all the evil this world hands out. Anxiety is one of the beasts I cannot fight for them. I can give them only the skills to understand and the rest has to be up to them. That is one of the hardest and bravest parts of being a Mom.

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