FEELING GOOD

​I have the strangest feeling going on today. I feel other worldly, not totally myself. I feel weightless which is amazing considering I ate rhubarb crumble pie for my breakfast. I feel a lift in my spirit and bounce in my step. I wonder if that counts as exercise? At the present moment,  I am not in any type of pain. No back ache, no migraine not even a stiff neck. I feel less empathetic by a small margin because I am not sharing others' pain at that moment.  Empathy is a two-edged emotion , while it connects you to others and helps you know their plight, joy or devastation, it can also drain you and keep you away from your own even-keel reality. I think I am happy. Purely happy not just happy I ate pie for breakfast on the deck with the sunshine warming my pale skin. Happy. I forgot about you.  The moments of pure joy or happiness are often respites from the stark reality of life and should be promoted and appreciated. It is a euphoria feeling to be balanced. To feel calm and peaceful is a state I do not encounter often with my anxiety levels but lately I have been getting closer to this part of me. I believe it is the art of not giving a fuck that has slowly started to take over my thinking process every morning that has pushed me further towards this amazing realisation of dealing with life. I have given up wondering if my neighbour likes me or hates me because of dandelions look like a jungle of white clouds on my front lawn. I have given up the  worry of being left out. I have given up the constant desire to not screw up something for the fear of being embarrassed. I am pushing myself through all this as it is not as easy for me as it is for many. My anxiety is still making me it's bitch, but I am fighting back harder than I have ever had before. I may not conquer my war with anxiety but I will push back every day. This bully will not keep me down.